Cocktails and Records

I was stuck on a train today with nothing for company but a Chinese tai chi manual (apparently written by a Mrs Li, but I can’t be sure of this) and a copy of Select magazine from December 1991 (with the terminally dull Lenny Kravitz on the cover).

From these I gleaned the following:

1. A picture does say a thousand words. This is good in the case of the tai chi book as I can’t read a word of Chinese, but not so good when it comes to the ‘16 page photo supplement’ in Select which features the close-up delights of Erasure, Jellyfish, Levitation, Jesus Jones and Miles Hunt amongst others. Did anybody ever actually stick these on their wall?!
2. Mrs Li and Select magazine take the weight of responsibility in their respective areas of expertise quite differently. Mrs Li has a stern look accompanying the many arrows in her pictures - it is very important that your flailing limbs are in exactly the right place. Select has the onerous task of reviewing the months new releases, and they certainly had their work cut out for them in December 1991. This month saw the release of classic 90s albums Bandwagonesque by Teenage Fanclub (4 stars) and Loveless by My Bloody Valentine (5 stars) , but what did Select award album of the month? Intastella’s Stella and the Intastella Family of People. I remember reading about Intastella but I absolutely cannot remember what they actually sounded like. How can I not remember something supposedly that good?

And with that said, I’m off to find some Intastella.

Last night I started my new Tai Chi class - new form, new night, new people.

I got there a bit early and was lingering in the corridor chatting to the other people in the class; they all knew each other but were friendly and welcoming towards the newbie. Throughout the chatter about tai chi, a guy in the corner is eyeing me off. Finally he edges his way over.

‘Good party on New Year’s Eve then?’ he says.
I am a bit taken back. I have never seen this man before in my life and this is not your usual conversation opener from a stranger.

‘I had a good New Year thanks, but sadly, I didn’t go to any parties’ I reply smiling.
‘Yes, you did.’ he says confidently ‘You were at a New Year’s Eve party in Cambridge’.
‘Er, no I wasn’t. You must have met my doppelganger that night!’

He is completely unconvinced and insists ‘No, you were back in Cambridge.’
‘No.’ I say firmly ‘I was definitely home in London. I haven’t been to Cambridge for a long time.’
‘Are you sure?’ he challenges.
‘Yes!’

He changes tact. ‘Have you got a boyfriend?’
‘Yes…’ I reply, wondering where this is going.
‘I know!’ he says triumphantly ‘He’s from Cambridge!’
Again, I have to let him down. ‘Well, actually he’s from Aberdeen - unless he’s been performing an elaborate ruse for the past seven years’.
 
He is undeterred. ‘But you’re from Cambridge aren’t you? When did you last go back home?’
I wonder if my Australian accent has suddenly disappeared for the evening. ‘I’m not from Cambridge’ I say, completely bemused by now.

‘But I know you’. He is absolutely perplexed.

To put him out of his misery, we eventually decide that we may have met on a tai chi course several years ago, and we head into the evening’s class.

Throughout the session though, out the corner of my eye, I keep seeing him glance at me. He looks suspicious, as though I am purposely misleading him about not being from Cambridge.