Cocktails and Records

The other evening I was in the office (attempting to work, but probably in reality perusing various blogs and wondering whether it is acceptable to use Green Chartreuse in a cocktail) when I heard screaming from down the stairs. Imagining that something absolutely terrible must have happened, I ran out of my office to see what was going on. By the time I got there, somebody else had started screaming as well and both women now cowered in the corridor clutching one another.

It transpired that they had seen a spider.

‘I can’t go back in there’ one of them says pointing into an office.
‘No way. I just cannot believe that I was in the same room as it’ says the other.

I hadn’t seen the evil creature of doom yet, and having been brought up in a country of Red Backs and Huntsman spiders which really can cause damage, I automatically fear the (admittedly highly improbable) worst. And you know what I’m going to say – yes, it was a teeny tiny innocent looking spider that couldn’t hurt a fly. Well, ok, maybe a fly but definitely not a human.

‘I’m going to call security’ one of them says.
‘Don’t you think that’s a bit over-the-top?’ I say cautiously.
‘Well, how else are we going to get rid of it? I am absolutely not going back in that office.’
‘I’ll pick it up and put it out the window’ I suggest.

Bad response. The spider needs to be killed if we are ever to work safely in the office again. I reluctantly agree to do this.

I take a tissue and squash the poor thing, while the others look on admiringly as though I am some kind of spider murdering hero.

I still feel guilty about it.