Cocktails and Records

We found ourselves in the Berkshire town of Beaconsfield this weekend. We were there to visit Bekonscot, a model village built by a bored London accountant in 1929 to entertain his friends. The folly started off as a few houses in his garden but wound up as a series of 6 inter-connected model villages over 1½ acres.

By some strange co-incidence we discovered whilst there that Beaconsfield was noneother than the home of Enid Blyton. And what a perfect coupling. Like Enid Blyton, Bekonscot Model Village seeks to ‘depict an idealised view of life in the 1930s’ - in other words the kind of England where the people who voted for Enid Blyton as their favourite author might aspire to live.

The England where:

1. Everyone lives in thatched roof cottages (even if they are fire prone)



2. Happy families pose by their Aston Martins



3. Fox hunting is fine way to spend a weekend



4. Evangelical missionaries can be found converting the villagers



5. Morris dancers are given free reign in the traffic-less town square

To be fair though, Bekonscot Model Village does have a colliery - its tucked away in the corner on the way out, just past the cable car…

It doesn’t really need saying again, but I’m not a huge fan of the glorified school sports day that is the Olympics. However, despite this I still found myself managing to spend just over a week in the Olympic City that is Beijing. And let me tell you, Beijing is a city possessed by the Olympic spirit. Here are a few lessons for London to learn:

1. Build lots of new things

Bejing is one big construction site. If the rumour that 25% of the worlds cranes are currently in Dubai is true, then the rest are probably in Beijing. The Olympics seem to be facilitating an unprecedented rush on ripping down, restoring (sometimes) and building - highrise apartment blocks are being flung up within weeks, traditional hutong neighbourhoods reshaped and rebuilt, subways extended and landmark buildings regularly unfurled to the world. We met a Taiwanese-American guy on the train one day who said that he could see workmen in a new apartment block being built near the Olympic site welding at 3am on a Saturday night. I think we can be quite confident that that won’t happen in London.

2. Launch a TV channel dedicated soley to the Olympics

Chinese Central Television (CCTV) has dedicated its sport channel entirely to the Olympics, even renaming it ‘the Olympic channel’ for the duration of 2008. This is useful because if you should miss out on any vital Olympic news or highlights at home, you can watch them on your way to work on the subway - each carriage on the new subway line that we were near had TV screens broadcasting CCTV’s Olympic channel. Rhythmic gymnastic highlights from previous Olympics seemed to feature a lot, but what would appeal to Londoners? Darts?

3. There is nothing that cannot be merchandised

Official (and unofficial) Olympic shops are everywhere - the airport, every shopping mall, every department store, the Forbidden City etc. - selling everything you could possibly ever want. T-shirts, tea sets, ties, towels, chopsticks, kites, coins, stamps, collectable medals, piggy banks, car/airplane neck pillows, cosmetic bags… everything. No snow domes or big novelty pants though disappointly.

4. There is nowhere too famous or too UNESCO World Heritage listed to be branded

5. Maintain a strong uniformed presence at all times

There were a lot of offical looking uniformed people in Beijing. The first time we went to Tianamen Square they were either studiously marching about everywhere or attempting to blend in as by-standers. The last time we went to Tianamen Square was the day the Olympic torch rolled into town and we couldn’t get within a mile of the place. Police were stationed at every intersection, every potential public loitering place and every subway entrance to make sure that you knew that there would be no trouble.

If London Met. Police can pay as many fresh faced young men to stand around looking threatening as the city of Beijing can then I will be truly impressed… but then again we probably won’t need to…

I’m back. Suffering with a cold, jet lagged and swamped by emails, but pleased to be home nonetheless.

Until I get my act together to write something, I’ll get the holiday mood out of my system by sharing a couple of snaps.

Temple of Heaven, Beijing

Sign in Beihai Park, Beijing. Further translation welcome.

Falls Creek in the Victorian ‘Alpines’. More Scotland than Alpine I think.

Public amenities in Australia.