Cocktails and Records

Our local council has been embroiled in a long-running farrago regarding the local cinema. Walthamstow’s EMD cinema was once a much-loved Granada cinema, complete with 30s décor and Christie organ. In addition to the screens, the cinema was built with top-notch staging so in the 50s and 60s the likes of Gene Vincent, Buddy Holly, The Beatles, The Kinks and The Stones played there. In recent years though, the cinema has fallen into decline and now it lies unused in a fairly miserable state.

However, those trusty friends of the large historic building, Christian evangelicals (in this case the Universal Church of the Kingdom of God, UCKG) have come to the rescue. Like Finsbury Park Astoria, they have bought the building and plan to transform it into a place of worship.

There has been much public outcry and local campaigning against this decision. Waltham Forest is the only London borough not to have a cinema, people have a genuine fondness for the traditional Grade II* listed cinema and there is very little trust in our local council anyway, particularly its attitude towards regeneration, the arts and heritage. None of this is helped by the fact that there are rumours that various cinema operators have proposed viable plans for refurbishing the EMD and running it as a profitable venue again, but have been rejected by the council. It is all a long, sorrowful story of mistrust between the local authority, the church and cinema campaigners.

So far so typical, sadly enough. This week though, two quotes from local councillors have really made me wonder what world I’m living in.

Councillor Matt Davis: ‘Do you not think the council needs to manage people’s expectations on the EMD, and make it clear that people can get Mick Jagger out and bunches of kids protesting but it won’t make a difference?’

Councillor Terry Wheeler: ‘[a new church will be] more attractive, to particularly young people, than a modified cinema.’

What is happening when public protests (even if they include Mick Jagger) are dismissed so out of hand? And more to the point, what kind of world is it where the council can even think about claiming that a church will more appealing to young people than a cinema?

I’m so out of touch with young people though these days that I wouldn’t have a clue. Maybe he is right. Maybe religion is more appealing to the ‘yoof’ than movies. This can’t possibly be true, can it?

At a meeting with an architect the other day, we were informed that men and women have different tastes when it comes to the interiors of public toilets and restrooms. Men prefer darker colours, wood textures and dimmer lights. Women like a light bright feel, lots of mirrors and pastels. Therefore, men and women’s toilets should have separate designs and colour schemes.

Our party of women was somewhat surprised by this and curious as to where this wisdom came from. It’s common knowledge, the architect arrogantly replied, and what would you know anyway – how many men and women’s loos have you been to in the same place to compare?

He got us there.

Since then I’ve found myself contemplating men’s toilets. So can someone tell me, are they really dark, woody and dim or is this just a load of bunk?

It seems particularly cruel, just after I was eulogising proper cinemas the other week, that that one of my favourite cafes in London, the New Piccadilly on Denman Street, will be closing down this weekend. I only went there a few times over the years, but each visit is a cherished memory.

It was the sort of café where you could just sit on your own with your egg and chips, kick back and lose yourself in the décor and the sense of history. In the New Piccadilly I could pretend that it was 50s/60s London, and that just up the road in Soho, young trendy types (a la Cliff Richard in Expresso Bongo…) might be lurking about in basement cafes.

This temple to formica and coffee, not to mention the long lost art of table service in cafes, will always have a place in my heart.

Whilst sitting outside eating my sandwiches this lunchtime, I started thinking that I should make a personal commitment to never eating crappy supermarket cheese ever again. This inevitably led to me thinking about other ethical decisions I could also make if I had any moral fibre/will power whatsoever.

What I would really like to do is to swear that I will never step foot in another Odeon, Vue or similar chain cinema in my life. We saw the new Harry Potter movie a few weeks back and whilst the movie was good, it certainly had its work cut out to lift the misery of seeing it at Islington Vue. What a completely soul destroying dump that place is – hidden, almost embarrassed like in a shopping centre, a machine selling you tickets rather than a person, harsh strip lighting illuminating heavy duty flooring, all roads leading to the overpriced crappy junk food.

It’s hard to believe that once upon a time movie theatres were built as fantastic temples to escapism where the whole experience of going out was special and exciting. Somewhile ago we went to see Sunset Boulevard at Finsbury Park Astoria (ironically once an Odeon, now an evangelical church run by the Universal Church of the Kingdom of God) and even the hideous rows of bibles and religious scaremongering paraphernalia in the foyer couldn’t detract from the excitement and thrill engendered by the building. Now most cinemas don’t even try to pretend that screening films is anything more than a way of fleecing as much cash out of you as possible.

Sadly, I’ve got to hand it to religion on this one – they understand the importance of good design and how architecture can raise your spirits and change your perceptions – in a way that the real palaces of our dreams do not.