Cocktails and Records

The Homecoming Queen’s got a Gun
Julie Brown

One of the miracles of the modern age is being able to track down dimly remembered novelty tunes on Youtube – like this one by Julie Brown.

Written way back in the 80s when school shootings were merely fantasised about rather than actually undertaken, ’The Homecoming Queen’s got a Gun’ parodies the 80s Valley Girl life that I was only familiar with through trash teen novels and Frank Zappa songs. Still, the song and its accompanying video captured my imagination and despite not hearing it in years until this week, I’ve never forgotten winning couplets like:

God, my best friend’s on a shooting spree
Stop it, Debbie, you’re embarrassing me

and

Debbie’s really having a blast
She’s wasting half of the class

Ah, they don’t write parody songs like they used to. And what’s Weird Al Jankovic up to these days…

Keen to broaden my knowledge of classical music beyond ‘populist muck’ opera and ’tiresome’ minimalism, I have been taking an evening class on ‘music appreciation’ on and off throughout the past year. Because it’s been by and large, a nice group of people involved, on more than one occasion we have found ourselves down the pub after.

So what’s the most obvious conversation subject in such a situation? Music. Fine with me.  And what’s the question that’s inevitably going to be asked at some point? What’s the question that I, as both a lifelong music fan and a dedicated Radio 4 listener, should have well and truly prepared for?

Yes, it’s ‘What are your desert island discs?’

The answers flowed forth with certainty from everyone else around the table: ‘Mahler’s 7th’, ‘White Man in Hammersmith Palais’, ‘Beethoven’s Piano Concerto no. 4′, ‘Miserere mei, Deus’, ‘Good Vibrations’, etc. etc. But not from me – for I was embarrassingly unprepared,  dumb struck by choice, overwhelmed by having to nail my colours to the mast with only eight songs.

Eight songs! I could think of dozens of songs I love and couldn’t live without. ‘Be ruthless’ I was told sternly.

Hmmm, ‘Wuthering Heights’, ‘Hot Burrito No. 2′ by the Flying Burrito Brothers, Philip Glass’ String Quartet No. 5, John Coltrane’s version of ’My Favourite Things’, Benny Goodman’s ‘Sing, Sing, Sing’, ‘More Love’ by Smokey Robinson & the Miracles, The Go-Betweens ‘Streets of Your Town’,  ‘Eleanor’ by The Turtles, Acts I and II from La Boheme… all of West Side Story… and Forever Changes… and I still haven’t included anything by George Gershwin… or The Beatles…

So dear reader, could you have faired any better? Have you prepared for the moment when you are asked the ultimate question?

Jungle Animal
Pomplamoose

It’s been a quite a while since the last song of the week, so long that I can’t actually remember what it was. Oh yes… Five Thirty? Hmmm… Anyway, I can explain this absence by saying that not only have I not been listening to much music, but when I have its mostly been 1. nasty populist opera* 2. Bruce Springsteen 3. Bobby Vee and 4. nothing much else. So you’ll understand why I wasn’t going to take you there.

This week, however, is different. For this week I am being plagued by a ridiculously catchy song called ‘Jungle Animal’ by the stupidly named Pomplamoose. ‘Music pundit’ Bob Lefsetz recommended this track on his blog some time ago and it’s only now that have I fallen prey to its fey charms.

What’s interesting about ‘Jungle Animal’ is that it was written by songwriter Allee Willis**, the woman behind the wonderful ‘September’ by Earth, Wind and Fire and ‘What Have I Done To Deserve This? by the Pet Shop Boys and Dusty Springfield (and also the somewhat less fabulous theme tune to Friends).

Allee Willis doesn’t quite rescue Pomplamoose from the land of twee, but it’s a damn fine attempt.

* see earlier post re. the snob woman who helped me back to health
** Bored at work? Check out her Museum of Kitsch. It does what it says on the tin.

Five Thirty
13th Disciple

In one of many ongoing attempts to free up some space in our crowded flat, I recently took the radical (ha!) decision to transfer all of my CD singles to itunes and stash the originals away in the trusty old loft.

Ah, the CD single – what a stupid concept! When I bought this one by Five Thirty back in 1991 I thought I was being pretty cutting edge – a wizzy new music format which was absolutely guaranteed to surpass scratchy old 7″s within the blink of an eye and a trendy new band with cool hair who were due for big, big things.

Well, I was wrong on both accounts.

But ‘13th Disciple’ is a great song. I’ve always thought so and thankfully, in this issue of The Word, Steve Lamacq agrees (well, that’s what I’m reading into his article anyway). Just wish I’d bought the damn thing on vinyl.

‘13th Disciple’, Five Thirty, 1991

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Esquivel!
Johnson Rag

I cannot believe that I have been writing this blog for 2 1/2 years without mentioning Mr Juan Garcia Esquivel, or Esquivel! as he apparently preferred to be known. This was a man who was not put off by silly lyrics, odd instruments or experimentation with weird arrangements. No, he embraced them whole-heartedly – only to create the ultimate in big band ’space age pop’.

File under: the sound of 50s summer
Goes with: a Mai Tai

‘Johnson Rag’, Esquivel, 1960

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The Bamboos
Keep me in Mind

This song doesn’t have an original bone in its body. From the two-note piano solo and classic horn runs to the strangely predictable melody and boring female backing vocals it is same old – same old nu-soul. In fact, I can’t think of anything remotely interesting to say about ‘Keep me in Mind’ other than that the label it’s on, Tru Thoughts, is a top Brighton-based indie who generally release way more interesting music.

But it’s great. Song of the week I say!

‘Keep me in Mind’, The Bamboos, from 4, Tru Thoughts, 2010

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Joglaresa
Stella Nuova

I’ve been keeping myself busy with an evening course on Early Music recently. Since I know practically nothing about any music from before 1900 it has been enlightening and educational to say the least.

One thing that I have learnt is that not all ‘early music’ involves Greek Orpheus types plucking lyres and monks chanting spooky exhortations to God. No, sometimes there is rippingly upbeat stuff such as this.

‘Stella Nuova’ is an Italian tune from around the 12th century and like say, this year’s German Eurovision winner ‘Satellite’*, is annoyingly catchy.

‘Stella Nuova’, Joglaresa, from Stella Nuova: Celebratory Songs of Medieval Italy, 2005

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* You did watch it didn’t you?

It’s been an odd weekend. It started off badly when our lovely neighbours decided to ‘prune’ the tree in their garden – how I love the sound of chainsaws at 8am on a Sunday morning – and descended into just plain weirdness when Mr C. announced that he was going to do some pruning of his own.

‘I have too may records’ he said surveying his not insubstantial collection, ‘I don’t listen to some of them very much and well, I don’t really need to keep them all do I?’
‘No… ‘ I responded, swallowing my disbelief, ‘but are you absolutely sure about this?’
‘Yes, there are too many’ he said determinedly ‘I need to purge.’

I am sorry to say that I just snickered unsupportively at this point and went off to read the paper.

Several hours of struggling later, he had triumphantly managed to reduce the vinyl load on the shelves by around oooh… eight LPs.

Not that I have any right to be sarcastic. He did much better than I ever could. The last time I attempted a purge was just before I freighted my vinyl over here from Australia. Once it arrived after several long months on the boat I realised I’d made a terrible mistake and had to go out and buy them all again.

And as we discussed, post failed purge, it doesn’t matter if you don’t listen to all of your records all of the time. It’s just comforting to know that they’re there. Even the ones by James Last.

The Easybeats
She’s so Fine

Another delve in the mix tape box (sorry) came up with this early tune by The Easybeats.* I don’t think ‘She’s so Fine’ charted in the UK, but it was a bit of a ‘hits and memories’ radio perennial when I was growing up. Once you hear it you’ll know why – it’s 2 minutes 9 seconds of catchy pop perfection. And just listen to that scream five seconds in. What a way to open a song!

‘She’s so Fine’, The Easybeats, from Easy, 1965

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* bunged on the end of a tape after ‘What I like about you’ by the Romantics, but never mind.

All this talk of the now sadly departed raconteur Malcolm McLaren has singularly failed to commemorate his contribution to my early life.

Long before I discovered punk, or indeed any music beyond Culture Club and my Dad’s Beatles records, I knew Malcolm McLaren as the man behind the groovy skipping song ‘Double Dutch’.

This single, with its natural exuberance celebrating the important things in life for an 8 year old, kicked off a huge skipping fad in our school playground. And for once I wasn’t standing on the sidelines wondering what the fuss about. No, it was quite clear from the film clip I’d seen on Australian Sunday night music staple Countdown that skipping was not like the usual rubbish sports like cricket or netball. Skipping was COOL.

So here’s to you Malcolm – for not only helping change the course of music but for managing to get sport hating bookworms like me out of library (for the weeks that the song was in the charts anyway).

‘…The skip they do is the double dutch, that’s them dancing…’

Malcolm McLaren, ‘Double Dutch’, 1983