To fly or not to fly
A story in this week’s episode of the radio programme/podcast This American Life tackles that age old conundrum: Which superpower would you prefer – the power of flight or the power of invisibility?
The reporter behind the story, John Hodgman, seems to have spent a not inconsiderable amount of time examining this very question. He’s researched the issue over many years and has now compiled a vital analysis of people’s responses.
His findings reveal that most people know instantly which superpower they would choose, almost as though they have been pondering it all their lives. This rings true with me. As soon as he mentioned the options I knew that I wanted to fly.
He then goes on to point out that absolutely no one actually wants to use their superpower for fighting crime and saving people from collapsing buildings as superheroes are supposed to. No, mostly they want to use them to spy on ex’s and work colleagues, perve at other people, nick stuff and get to pub quickly. Exactly. I want to fly because I want to feel the cool wind rushing through my hair, enjoy the view below me and never have to encounter mustard and banana loving commuters ever again.
So what about you – flying or invisibility? And what are you going to use it for?*
*Analysis of people’s decisions also suggests that choice of superpower says a lot about your personality. Allegedly. But lets not go there. Just because I dream of the power of flight doesn’t mean that I’ve got some kind of guileless, show off, hero complex alright.
Tags: whimsy
August 18th, 2010 at 11:42 pm
invisibility every time… Be great to wander in on conversations, see what the next door neighbour REALLY says about you… but mostly… to check out everyone’s record and CD collections!
August 19th, 2010 at 12:41 am
See, as a male, I’m hard-wired to want see females naked. You can’t criticise me or hit me with big sticks for it. It’s the way of the world. So if I break into your house whilst invisible, it may not be your record collection I’m looking to clock.
On the other hand, i’m scared of flying. So the above may just be avoidance.
August 19th, 2010 at 9:33 am
Piley, that all sounds very innocent – checking out people’s record collections. Are you sure that you don’t want to secretly ‘borrow’ some at the same time?! Sorry, VS’s comment put me in a cynical frame of mind…
VS, you can break into my house all you like. I won’t be there. I’ll be flying over to your house with my army of super flying people looking to take you on a ‘nice and gentle’ joyride.
August 19th, 2010 at 10:41 am
I’d like both. For obvious reasons.
August 19th, 2010 at 11:03 am
If the choice is just flight or invisibility, I’d have flight every time. If the selection gets extended to other common superpowers, I’d pick telekinesis, if only because I could probably use it to do the housework.
August 19th, 2010 at 11:40 am
F-C, you can’t have both – that’s cheating.
Telekinesis is a very good suggestion, RS. Not that any superhero worth their salt would be doing housework of course. But I’m sure we could both find other very good uses for it.
August 19th, 2010 at 12:04 pm
I admire VS’s honesty; I recently watched (again) Rear Window where Jimmy Stewart had Peeping Tom tendancies and, you could tell, secretly longed to be invisible. However, I’d kick both ‘powers’ into the long grass if it meant getting a crack at time travel.
August 19th, 2010 at 12:41 pm
I like the power to stop time, as demonstrated in Nicholson Baker’s book The Fermata. I could often use another hour or two in the day to catch up, read a bit more or just have a nap between meetings.
Of course, the protagonist of the book uses the power to take women’s clothes off while they are frozen…
Just between flight or see-through, I’d take flying just to be able to drop things on people I don’t like then zoom off.
August 19th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Invisibility – the perfect super power for a nosy parker like me. X-Ray vision would be good too, but only if it was tuneable. I wouldn’t want to go the way of Ray Milland
August 19th, 2010 at 4:31 pm
This American Life was right – this is a very revealing question indeed. In fact, it might be the most revealing question ever. It seems that you’re all a lunch of perves (well, or maybe just VS), nosy parkers and/or quite nasty (dropping things on people SimonB!!)
Not sure about the x-ray vision Mondo. I’m with John on time travel and Red S. on the telekinesis. Much more exciting!
August 19th, 2010 at 5:11 pm
No question, flying every time. I hear enough about people’s inner worlds in my work to have very little curiosity left on a day-to-day level.
I would swoop off up into the thermals every time I felt low or bored, and if the occasion arose I might well swoop down again and, like a herring gull, let rip over certain people’s head.
August 19th, 2010 at 7:16 pm
ok, ok… so I might have a flick through their comic collection too… there…
August 21st, 2010 at 7:50 am
I completely agree with VS – invisibility for the purposes of spying on naked ladies. I’ll nail my colours to the mast, I’m not proud.
Also like Simon B’s suggestion of being able to stop time which I would use, obviously, to look at naked ladies. Haven’t heard of that book The Fermata, so I might have to check it out.
Also a fan of Mondo’s suggestion of x-ray vision which I suspect I might use to look at naked ladies. Tempted to rewatch The Man With The X-Ray Eyes now. If thine eye offends thee….pluck it out!
Fundamentally, I think it’s fair to say that any superpower which allows me to look at naked ladies is pretty high on my wish-list.
August 22nd, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Flying… don’t know why but a few weeks ago I have a vivid dream that I could actually fly – just like Superman… weird
August 24th, 2010 at 5:22 pm
Well, I have to say that I admire your honesty Dan – even if it does make me sigh. All those super powers just to look at naked ladies…
I’m still with the flying, like you Furtheron. I’ve had a few dreams over the years where I could fly like Superman. They were great. X-ray vision, stopping time, being invisible: absolutely no contest for flying!
August 24th, 2010 at 9:40 pm
I’d choose invisibilty. Sadly i fear for reasons of sneaking around and seeing certian ladies in the buff (i know i know) but also to exact revenge. There are a few people i’d really like to mess with , say to the point of giving them a nervous break down ha ha haaaaa (wicked laugh). Imagine walking up to the toughest arsehole you know , some one you have always hated but know you cant beat up, being invisible and smacking him HARD in the mooey !!!. I’m almost wetting my pants with joy as i type. You could haunt people move stuff about , turn thier taps on , kick thier telly in and generally screw with thier heads. I’m talking about people that have wronged me here not the public at large. Revenge is not some thing i seek out often BUT i will take it if the opertunity presents it’s self, what better chance than being invisible ????. Oh and i’d loot HMV as well !!!!!.
August 24th, 2010 at 11:27 pm
spoken like a true Scorpio Carl “Revenge is not some thing i seek out often ”
Looting HMV??? Good luck with that, have you actually spotted something good in there then?? Few hundred susan boyle CDs maybe and a bit of Jedward??!
I doubt the’d notice much missing if I went on an invisible spree in there! I’d have the drinks and chocolate that they now sell anyway!
August 25th, 2010 at 9:49 am
This is getting worse!! I’ll be careful not to make an enemy of you Carl – or else I’ll be blaming every off thing around the house on you. We’ve run out of coffee/beer/biscuits? That Carl must have become invisible and nicked it all!
Piley, after all these comments I think I can safely you award the ‘nicest and sanest commenter’ prize. 1. You don’t dream of sneaking up on people or dropping things on their heads and 2. You realise that there is nothing worth nicking from HMV. Either that or you’re an extremely good liar!! ;)
August 25th, 2010 at 7:48 pm
Hmmm, but does it double as the ‘least imaginative’ prize too??!
August 25th, 2010 at 8:40 pm
Not at all. Put another way, it means that when I’m master and lord(ess) of the universe you will be one of the few people that I will awarding super powers to. Carl, on the other hand, is getting any until he can well and truly prove that I’m in his good books!
August 25th, 2010 at 9:11 pm
great, thanks! first thing i’ll do will be to go round to Carls and “smack him HARD in the mooey” ;-)
August 26th, 2010 at 9:55 am
If you were invisible you could actually stealthy stock HMV with stuff worth buying :-)
August 26th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
You are very much in my good books , i read your blog , dutifully comment , often to compliment your writting and and humour, i accepted your freind request on facebook PLUS you like krautrock and Motorhead !!!! why would you not be in my good books ?. I’ll save my haunting for others who have earned my wrath ah ha ha haaaaaaaaa (evil laugh …….again).
August 26th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Piley i think you are jealous of my smart mouth and ready wit ………watch i don’t start a blog and steal your readership ah ha ha haaaaaa !!!!!!!.
August 26th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
You mean you would be the reverse Robin Hood of HMV, Furtheron! I like it!
Carl, as much as I appreciate your comments I think you’re mixing me up with IShouldBeWorking – Krautrock is my enemy, as is Facebook. i.e. you are not reassuring me at all. No superpowers for you yet then! Although I might concede if you start a blog. Why don’t you? Good idea Carl!
August 26th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
Ahhhhhh shit yeah i am LOL , i was on her blog immediately prior to yours and got kinda confused , i am it has to be said a fool and very embaressed, best you don’t bestowe any powers on me after all !!!!. Me blog ???? nahhh no one and i mean no one would read it , i’m too how do you say ????……..honest !!!!!! ha ho !!.
August 26th, 2010 at 7:17 pm
I agree… how much would I love to see a ‘Thoughts of Chairman Carl’ blog… it so needs to be done. Nobody would read it? You’d put us all out of business Carl…
August 26th, 2010 at 8:27 pm
Argh, don’t worry Carl – it’s quite flattering reallly. And get going on that blog – see, you’ve got two readers already!
August 26th, 2010 at 10:19 pm
I sent two texts to the wrong people today too , i am i fear losing the plot :-(.