Would you like a drink?
I like to think of myself as a reasonably hospitable person. When people visit my home or my office, I like to offer them something to drink – and most of the time they are pleased to accept.
Except this one person I know. This person does not drink socially. And I don’t just mean that they don’t drink alcohol. They don’t drink anything. No coffee, no tea, no hot chocolate, no beer, no wine, no spirits, no coke, no lemonade, no fruit juice and certainly no tap water. The only thing I have ever seen them sup is water, water from their own bottle which they carry around for emergencies (such as me trying to force coffee or beer on them).
They claim to drink some of these substances at home on occasion – when they are feeling unhealthy and decadent. The nice, practical side of me says that I should be pleased by someone so dedicated to taking care of their health. The rebellious side of me says I should also relish such defiant rejection of all social conventions regarding bonding over booze or the coffee pot.
But boy, it annoys me.
‘What is your problem?‘ I ask myself when I see them sitting in a cafe with their bottle of water, smugly reminding everyone how much better their life has been since they freed themselves from the triple tyrannies of caffeine, alcohol and sugar. ‘Your life can’t be that much better.’
Of course I like this person (mostly) and maybe their life is better, but this doesn’t stop those pangs of irritation wafting up every time they respond to the ‘Would you like a drink?’ question by pointing to their beloved bottle of still water. I think, and I’m ashamed to say this, that I almost feel rejected by them and their health obsession.
How embarrassing. It is, after all, just a drink.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
I don’t drink tea or coffee but will often accept a glass of water at meetings etc even if I happen to have some with me anyway (I seem to spend half my days trekking across the county and often need a slurp on the way) as that’s the polite thing to do. The thought of taking my own into a cafe though is absurd. Were I a proprietor I’d be making a fuss about this person doing so.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
I used to know someone who carried round a bottle of ‘water’. Turned out it was vodka and they were actually such a drunk that in the end they fell asleep on the sofa and never woke up!
October 26th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
I don’t get the water obsession – especially train-gluggers. Commuters who can’t manage a fourty minute trip, with a plastic bottle to hand!
Having said that I’m a funny ol’ fish, or straighforward depending on your take, regarding drinks. I don’t, and never have drunk tea or coffee (can’t stand the taste), juice is boring, water’s worse. So it’s either something fizzy for most of the time or alcoholic on occasion.
October 26th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Simon, one thing that is more absurd/annoying than people taking their own drink into a cafe is people sitting in a pub not drinking anything whatsoever. This really irks me when I can’t even get someone to have a glass of water or juice or… anything!!
F-C, maybe you have the key there. All this health stuff is just a front!
PM, I’m sorry to say that in addition to being a pusher of hot and cold beverages, I am one of those people with a water obsession. I don’t go anywhere without my water. I also don’t go anywhere without my lip gloss, umbrella, tissues, something to read, cardigan… you just never know… And something alcoholic only on occasion?! Are you sure??!!
October 26th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
That’s one neurotic habit there, Cocktails. Carrying a bottle around like that is the equivalent of a comfort blanket or a dummy. It’s a transitional object, but I presume this person is aged more than four years old. This is not about them liking or not liking your coffee, believe me.
I’ve got one of those friends who will never order a drink in a pub (“No thanks! I’m not thirsty!”) but who during the course of the evening will go round the table asking people if they “just mind if I have a quick sip’. They’re not neurotic, though, just really tight.
October 27th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Mmm, ISBW, so it’s either vodka or neurosis! I have to say I’m equally intrigued by your friend who never orders a drink in a pub, but is happy to ask for a sip. I could never do that and am endlessly fascinated by people with no shame. And people who don’t care about being perceived as tight!
November 1st, 2009 at 8:41 pm
Fraid (sorry pm ) I am always wary of people who don’t drink tea or coffee (especially tea). Don’t start me on people who don’t drink tap water they are too seconds way from saying “chemicals” and that’s when I reach for my revolver!
It’s not even the caffeine that’s good in tea as I’m sure us regular “users” aren’t that badly effected it’s the whole nature of tea that’s great: the taste, the mouth feel, the heat in hands through the mug, the stewing, the eternal milk first debate, the chatting while it brews some how waiting for the clunk of a tin of pop in the drinks machine slot isn’t quite the same.
We had a staff member in our team at one of the places I worked who didn’t drink alcohol(possibly for religious grounds) and they use to be very controlling with it always trying steer social arrangement to non licenced premises with passive agressive behaviour. I’m an easy going person most of the time but I hate the assumption that if I have 2 pints after work I will be come a menace to myself and others.
November 1st, 2009 at 10:06 pm
Oh dear, BLTP, I have to admit that you’d be weary of me. I don’t like tea particularly much, it’s just the taste, it makes me feel a bit… ill. But how I wish I could drink it! I love the ritual of tea and the obsession people can have over it. I’m more a coffee person and (I feel almost ashamed admitting this to you) I like herbal tea a lot.
Some anti-alcohol people irk me too. There is another person I’ve encountered who REALLY doesn’t drink (for religious reasons) and they seem to fear that stepping over the threshold of a pub automatically turns you into an alcoholic demon. I find myself pitying their low expectations of the human race .