There’s a Man Down Our Road Who’s a Nazi
Last week I went to see performance poet Attila the Stockbroker, a man I will forever identify with another lost world – that of angry, right-on 80s alternative comedy and politics.
This was inescapably helped by the fact that Attila was wearing a black T-shirt with red star emblazened across the front, tight black jeans and DM boots combo, swigging ale (Badger’s Golden Glory for those into beer) and enthusing about workers’ solidarity, kicking out the fascists and smashing the system in a decidedly non-2009 way. I felt like I’d stepped into one those mid-80s issues of the NME that I bought from a garage sale once.
Here’s one of Attila’s newer poems that he did on the night. It’s about Daily Mail readers, the social group that it’s still acceptable to take the piss out of. It’s very good.
There’s a man down our road who’s a Nazi!
There’s a man down our road who’s a Nazi!
He’s there on the list, that’s for sure
His hobbies are bowls and line dancing
And he lives at 204!
Well, I must say that he looks quite normal
And his wife makes a nice cup of tea…..
There’s a man down our road who’s a Nazi!
I’m glad he’s not next door to me!
He’s bald, but, no, he’s not a skinhead
He wears Hush Puppies, not those big boots
His dog’s a shitsu, not a pitbull
And he doesn’t goose step, he – commutes!
It’s a Rotary Club badge, I’m certain
That little one on his lapel
There’s a man down our road who’s a Nazi!
Goes to show that you never can tell …….
I bet that his wife is embarrassed
And she wishes that nobody knew
Now they’re caling her ‘Eva’ – that’s horrid!
Been expelled from the W.I. too……
Do they really? What, NOTHING but Wagner?
AND so loud that the neighbours complain?
There’s a man down our road who’s a Nazi!
And there’s talk of a local campaign!
Yes, I know you work at the newsagents.
What has that got to do with this tale?
You’re right! It’s the proof. Yes, we’ve got him.
Life subscription to the Daily Mail……
Who, of course, said ‘Hooray for the Blackshirts!’
Now it all makes complete sense to me.
There’s a man down our road who’s a Nazi!
He’s as Nazi as Nazi can be!
Tags: poetry corner
March 16th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
good stuff nice drop of poetry that and it rhymes so the daily Mail will be pleas….
March 16th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
And they would have loved the conspiratorial whisper that he gave it in.
March 17th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Bless him, he’s a bit of a local hero in these parts. Lives in Southwick, you know.
There was a time when no benefit gig was complete without Attila (and/or the Redskins). I last saw him a few months ago, above a pub in Lewes. There were only about a dozen of us in the audience, but he still gave it the full wellie. Hope he did his ‘tribute’ to the late Jorg Heider?
March 17th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Attila did point that out, yes, and the fact that Brighton and Hove are the best football team ever… He didn’t do the Jorg Haider number but we did get the tribute to certain Sussex residents ‘Poison Pensioner’!
March 18th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
I have no clue who he is, but he sounds like an interesting character. It’s always interesting to learn about other people.
March 18th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
No, I can’t imagine that he would be particularly well known in the States! Thanks for stopping by Keith.
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:03 pm
That photo was taken in Whitby. I had my parents in law pose there ‘amusingly’.