I have no compassion!
I know that living in a city can be a pretty efficient way of removing any semblance of civility from your life, but even this recent exchange on the morning tube managed to surprise me.
As usual I am sitting engrossed in my book pretending to ignore everything going on around me, including in this case, a minor scuffle taking place by the tube doors. From the mêlée a male voice suddenly pipes up saying ‘Please don’t push me.’
‘You’re too slow’ is the curt response he receives from a woman striding my way.
‘I’m sorry, but I’ve got a bad leg’ he replies apologetically, collapsing into a seat near the door.
I discreetly lower my book and take a peep. The woman is a middle-aged, well dressed and clearly off to work in some kind of office. In other circumstances, I might describe her as kindly looking. But not now. Definitely not now.
‘So?’ she snaps ‘You’re too slow. I had to actually get on you know.’
‘I have a bad leg…’ he protests quietly. He looks as though he is around my age and not the sort of person who usually enjoys getting into scraps with middle-aged women on public transport. He also has a bad leg.
Is she going to recognise this and apologise? Like hell she is. ‘Well, you shouldn’t be on the tube then. People like you shouldn’t be allowed on.’
He, like the rest of quietly listening carriage, is clearly flabbergasted by this. But he just sighs and says matter-of-factly ‘Please have some compassion.’
This is a mistake.
She yells across the carriage at him ‘I have no compassion!‘
There is no answer to this. He goes silent and pulls out a book. The rest of us rustle our papers, shuffle our feet and avoid looking at the woman with no compassion.
October 19th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
That doesn’t surprise me at all. Most people today don’t seem to have any compassion. It doesn’t matter their gender, race, religion, class, etc. People are rude and harsh to each other. There seems to be no such thing as civility, let along compassion. I’m really sorry this happened to this man. This woman should be ashamed of herself.
October 19th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
I didn’t mention age. I always hear older people talk about how the younger generations have no manners, etc. Neither do the older ones to be honest. I walked in retail for awhile. Some of the worse customers I had were older people. They would curse at you, call you all sorts of name, and so forth.
October 20th, 2008 at 12:15 am
Nah, she’ll eventually push about the wrong person and get a punch in the gob for her troubles.
The term ‘I hope your next one’s a hedgehog’ springs to mind.
October 20th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Keith, I’d like to think that its not all doom and gloom. There are some nice people out there, and you kind of have to cling to that thought to get through life. You’re right though – there are an awful lot of tossers as well. Don’t get me started on older people. They are definitely not all sweetness and light, but more likely mouthy, intolerant and sharp-elbowed.
Ill Man, lets just hope that she was having a bad day. A very bad day and that she feels eternally guilty about how it made her behave. That is far worse punishment than a smack in the mouth.
October 21st, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Gah!!! That’s made me really furious for some reason – I’m sure if the man with the bad leg hadn’t been polite and explained his situation calmly, she’d have shut up immediately. And that’s what annoys me so much about London- you sometimes have to come down to the level of the other person and raise your voice and highlight their ignorance before they’ll concede and apologise. Behave like a civil, reasonable human being, and you just get more abuse.
October 21st, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I sometimes fear for myself in London. It is a constant challenge not to behave like a tosser. I don’t push, shove or yell at people but I do think about it. Which is bad. Even worse, when I go anywhere else in the world I am actually surprised when people are nice!!
You don’t happen to live in a Warner flat near Blackhorse Road tube do you? I was walking down the road this morning behind a man who I swear was humming Tiny Tim tunes!
October 21st, 2008 at 9:34 pm
No, that’s not my neck of the woods, but it is where a friend of mine lives who is a massive Tiny Tim fan! If he had long hair, walked along with a bounce, and looked ever-so-slightly (but not much) like Robert Plant, it was probably him. Although I’m sure there are more Tiny fans out there than we realise.
As for London, I tend to get accused of rudeness when I just happen to brush past people who are dithering backwards and forwards in a distracted way (sarcastic man on tube last week: “OH NO, you GO AHEAD, sir!”) I also accidentally trod on the foot of a man on the platform who was blocking the doors and trying to barge on before I could alight. He was none too impressed when I didn’t apologise – it was a genuine accident, but I couldn’t be bothered because it was his own fault for deliberately getting in the way. People blocking the train exits is one of my pet hates, especially if they pretend not to notice you trying to get off.
I work in Camden, though, so it’s rammed with teenage tourists who aren’t especially polite, and are a bit dozy about their environment as well. If you badly want to get from A to B because there’s an urgent meeting on, inevitably you’re going to accidentally bump a few Eurogoths on the way, and they do tend to be a bit over-sensitive.
To be honest, I don’t find the residents of any very large city (for which read a population of 7 million plus) any nicer than Londoners. When I went to Istanbul, I was stunned – they actually grab you by the shoulders and pull you out of their way!
October 21st, 2008 at 10:12 pm
No, probably wasn’t him then. I’ll just have to accept that there must be many Tiny Tim fans out there!
I am really surprised that anyone accuses you of rudeness. What seems to usually happen in London is that people just push and shove, and ignore each other. That is why the ‘I have no compassion’ woman stood out to me. Typically, people just glare at each other rather than have shouting matches.
You are right though, it is people in large cities who do tend to have issues with politeness and civility. It’s definitely, as Keith mentioned above, nothing to do with race, class, gender or background. I’m almost impressed by how stunningly rude people in Beijing were when we were there. People really did just shove you out of the way. Maybe Beijingers would feel at home in Istanbul?
October 21st, 2008 at 10:51 pm
I don’t think I”m particularly rude at all, I just use Euston and Camden stations a lot, and they’re filled with tourists who are just getting used to the old smoke (at Euston, they may only have just arrived). Therefore, some of them are really stunned and amazed when somebody (*gasp!*) bumps them and doesn’t say sorry. Back when I worked in the city, nobody batted an eyelid.
The gentle pushing I can deal with anyway, especially as a lot of it is accidental. If you said “Excuse me” or “sorry” to every person who was in your way at a major railway terminus first thing in the morning, you’d be tired in a matter of minutes.
I may try getting the Overground into work very soon anyway. It was a bit unreliable before, but it’s nothing like as crowded, and apparently it’s much better now (and considerably cheaper – one pound each way into Camden, I ask you!)
October 21st, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Yes, tourists! How quickly I forget! I used to work in the West End, just near Leicester Square, where baffled tourists routinely stood on the wrong side of the escalator and unknowingly pissed off hundreds of regulars.
I thoroughly recommend the Overland. I use it most mornings to get to Liverpool Street and although it is unreliable, it is at least pleasant. When people are shoving you, you get a nice view out of the window…
October 23rd, 2008 at 5:39 pm
New York used to be the undisputed Rudest City in the World, but I reckon London these days could give it a run for its money. And then punch it, knee it in the groin, and slap its stupid face.
Sorry – got carried away there, squire.