The chancer
Another train journey, another encounter with a fellow Londoner. This time I was walking through the station when a middle aged man came up to me. He was wearing a suit and looked relatively normal. Not that this means anything.
‘Excuse me’ he says ‘but do you know how to get to Holloway from here?’
‘Not exactly, but I think there is a bus. The guys who work here at the station will probably know the number.’
‘Thanks.’
I assume the encounter is over and think nothing of it. He however, has had a bright idea:
‘Do you want to come for a drink?’
‘No, sorry.’ I say.
‘What, don’t you like Holloway?’
‘No. I just don’t want to go for a drink. I’m going home.’
‘Are you gay?’
Obviously I must be. Not wanting to go for a drink in Holloway with some random bloke I’ve exchanged two sentences with at the station clearly indicates that I am gay. If only all things in life were so easily determined.
‘I’m going now.’ I say as I turn to leave.
‘Please tell me you’re gay.’ he sighs as I walk away.
Would it have been kinder to tell him I was?
Tags: mindless minutiae
August 5th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
If only human sexuality was so easy.
Don’t like Holloway = Gay
Prefer Kilburn = straight as a die
August 5th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Or:
turn down random strangers = crazy
August 5th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I wonder how many times it works!
August 5th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
I’m sure if you ask enough people out, one of them will say yes. I went out with someone I met at the cinema once upon a time. However, when I found myself sitting in a cemetry, drinking a beer out of a brown paper bag, listening to him go on about the importance of ironing shirts correctly, I somehow knew that it wasn’t going to go any further.
August 5th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Actually, saying ’sorry I’m gay’ is a great riposte that I’ve never thought of before and saves any hurt feelings. Mind you I’m chatted up so rarely, it’ll be another 10 years before I’m faced with that problem I’m sure.
August 5th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
That’s very kind of you Roman Empress. The more I think about it, the less interested I am in saving people’s feelings, particularly not random blokes’ at stations. Not that I need to worry very much - this doesn’t exactly happen to me very often!
August 5th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
There used to be a bloke in my year at college known as ‘Desperate Frasier’ whose Dad had passed on one piece of wisdom - if you proposition ten women, one of them is bound to say yes. Every Friday night you could observe Desperate Frasier in action, trying to honour his Old Man’s theory by wandering from one appalled woman to another, with an air of generalised lust and a packet of condoms (which was doomed to remain forever sealed). He’s probably still got them.
You should NEVER feel obliged to be kind to a man like Desperate Frasier.
August 5th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
In all honesty it all depends on if I’m in a nice mood or not at the time of strike. I have found it exasperating to the point where I can’t hide the anger and disgust in my face when approached by a man in a pub. They just assume you’re there waiting for them to save your evening, when all you’re doing is chatting to your friend. It does on times make my blood boil (not that it happens very often but when it does…)
That’s probably a bit unkind of me.
August 5th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
ISBW, Good story and no, the Deperate Frasiers of this world don’t need any more encouragement whatsoever. I don’t think this guy was quite in that league yet. Although I wonder what happened to your Desperate Frasier. Maybe he’s still out there propositioning women on Facebook and maybe his father still approaches women too, perhaps telling them that they look like Hitchcock heroines!
RE, I don’t think you have to worried about being unkind. You need to be unkind to get rid of slimebuckets in pubs. I actually stopped going out to nightclubs partly because I decided that my music taste was (embarrassed cough) superior to most DJs but mostly because I was sick of being harrassed by idiots. I have been provoked into saying some very, very impolite things to men in pubs and clubs, but not generally in railway stations…
August 5th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
I’m trying to think of a time when I’ve been propositioned outside of a club or pub and I think it’s zero, so I’m not sure I have to worry either way about offending people’s feelings. Although I was chatted up near the Bethnal Green museum recently. He didn’t seem put off when I told him I had a husband. He was clearly mad but I was still polite. God, I annoy myself sometimes.
Most people get bugged online these days, I know I have been. Much easier to avoid those ones…