Cocktails and Records

Me and Christmas don’t get along very well:

1. It thinks it’s a Christian celebration. I’m not a Christian and think they stole it off the pagans anyway.
2. It thinks it’s a time for families to come together. I think it’s a sad society that needs an excuse to do this – what’s wrong with the rest of the year?
3. It thinks that giving one another gifts is a sign of love and appreciation. I think that if showing your love means giving your nearest and dearest a copy of today’s Amazon Christmas gift recommendation How to Fossilise Your Hamster: And 99 Other Experiments to Try at Home then you’re in trouble.

However, for the sake of harmony, I’m trying to offer an olive branch to Christmas.

For one, I am entering into the festive spirit by consuming lots of stilton and port.

But try as I might, boy is Christmas is annoying me today:
.

1. The streets are clogged with harassed and stressed shoppers getting in the way of me buying ordinary things like milk and newspapers.
2. Royal Mail managed to deliver the Christmas card I sent second class to the designers I work with before the slightly more important proofs which I sent first class a day earlier.
3. The banks festive tinsel fell on my head when I visited my local branch at lunchtime.

Has Christmas seen through my pretence, cottoned on to my true feelings for it and is now beginning to plot against me?

Tags: annoying people, pointless celebrations

This entry was posted on Monday, December 10th, 2007 at 9:11 pm and is filed under Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.